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Flags flying over the Ville Close

Concarneau, France

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Newtown, Wales

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Archive for the ‘funnies’ Category

I can tell by your blog that you are depressed, struggling with homosexuality and perhaps on drugs…

Monday, March 9th, 2009

I received a post to my inbox on Stumbleupon from ademm

Dear Son,

I can tell by your blog that you are depressed, struggling with homosexuality and perhaps on drugs. Have you ever considered Jesus as your Saviour? I would like to establish a dialogue with you on the topics of philosophy, theology, existentialism and Jesus. Perhaps you feel that if Jesus was alive today he wouldn’t be up on currant fashions and trends or that he wouldn’t be able to express himself in the current hip-hop lingo the way you young hipsters can. But I want you to know that Jesus is “Now;” Jesus is “Wow!” Jesus spoke in parables which was the jive-talk of the day two thousand years ago. He spoke poetically which is like rap. If Jesus were alive today he would be a “Cooldude” like you or me. He would wear designer jeans rather than “huffing” designer drugs. Let us, you and I dig Jesus together and surely he will help you defeat your naughty thoughts. And if you’re feeling down and tempted remember the words and ponder the meaning of Deuteronomy 23:1

“No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.”

May the Lord show you the straight path,
Adam

Now, who’s going to help me formulate a suitable response? :)

But wait! It turns out I’m not his only one – Adam has been emailing another!

Can someone explain the whole Isreal/Palestine/Gaza mess to me?!

Monday, January 5th, 2009

However much I read, while the whole thing is a bit of a mess, it does seem to me that it’s the Palestinians who have caused most of the aggro.

Hamas is a terrorist aggressor which has turned down deal after deal and sya they will not stop bombing Israel until all Jews and Israel are “wiped off the map”, and surround their military installations with schools and hospitals.

Israel didn’t start the war – makes me wonder what goes through the heads of whackjobs like Viscount Anthony Wedgewood Benn as they spew spittle over the camera lens to justify being a pied piper for the rats of anarchy.

Perhaps they should do less rioting and more reading:
http://www.mideastweb.org/nutshell.htm
http://www.catallaxyfiles.com/blog/?p=3958
http://alsblog.wordpress.com/2008/12/30/israel-hamas-war/

If we can get a proper government in one day, they might 

Meanwhile, this joke seems to sum it up nicely:

What happens when a fly falls into a coffee cup?
The Italian - throws the cup, breaks it, and walks away in a fit of rage.

The German - carefully washes the cup, sterilizes it and makes a new cup of coffee. 

The Frenchman
 - takes out the fly, and drinks the coffee.

The Chinese
 - eats the fly and throws away the coffee.

The Russian - Drinks the coffee with the fly, since it was extra with no charge.

The Israeli - sells the coffee to the Frenchman, the fly to the Chinese, drinks tea and uses the extra money to invent a device that prevents flies from falling into coffee.

The Palestinian - blames the Israeli for the fly falling in his coffee, protests the act of aggression to the UN, takes a loan from the European Union to buy a new cup of coffee, uses the money to purchase explosives and then blows up the coffee house where the Italian, the Frenchman, the Chinese, the German and the Russian are all trying to explain to the Israeli that he should give away his cup of tea to the Palestinian.

Chiefs admit Brum skyline mix-up

Thursday, August 14th, 2008

Chiefs admit Brum skyline mix-up

“Birmingham City Council has admitted sending out leaflets which showed its US namesake’s skyline instead. About 720,000 pamphlets praising Brummies for their recycling were sent around the city at a cost of £15,000. ”

Epic fail. Lol for teh win etc.

UPDATE: Just heard the mayor of Birmingham, AL talking to Eddie Mair on Radio 4.
He sounded like such a good sport, unlike the dullards at Birmingham, UK, who wouldn’t even put someone on.

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Weston Grand Pier fire – MI5 and FBI conspiracy

Tuesday, August 5th, 2008

In late July 2008, fire took hold at the heart of Britain’s economy on Grand Pier at Weston-super-Mare.

The government would like us to believe it was just a blaze – but are we being told the truth?

Look at this image from the BBC news pictures site:

Let’s look more closely at that caption:

“After a little while I heard what sounded like an explosion. I don’t know if it was an explosion or the noise when the pier collapsed.”

It’s well known that Weston-super-Mare is in the UK. But did you know that MI5 headquarters is in London, and London is also in the UK? With MI5 being just 141 miles away, all the evidence is there of a missile attack. An explosion? What else could it be.

Sifting through the evidence, the fire service say they though it might have been started by chip fat. We found an unemployed bloke on the internet who’s been blogging since his wife left him who says he has evidence that MI5 is colluding with the FBI to provide chip fat fuelled missiles. If it can be done with cars, it’s a logical step for missile fuel.

The timings

From the article

Dozens of firefighters fought to tackle the blaze which took hold of the partly wooden pier in the North Somerset seaside resort at about 0700 BST.

More evidence of BBC cover-ups. The blaze took hold at 0700, but the BBC had it fully written up just 7 hours later – how did they know?

Were the Victorians in on the conspiracy?

The pier was built of metal. Just like the Twin Towers. During construction, someone could have embedded explosives in the legs of the pier.

The pier has never burnt down before.

The pier was built in 1904. The number “one” looks like the letter I. ninE. zeRo. Four = IERF – re-arranged spells FIRE.

If you take the letters of the word PIER and rearrange them, it makes the word PIRE, which is a bit like PYRE, which is a burning pile.

Finally, just like the Titanic, they were both on the sea.

YouTube Preview Image

How to make a beatboxing puppet

Monday, November 19th, 2007

I just found a rather good new site called Videojug. And it has some amazing talent on it. For example:


VideoJug: How To Make A Beatbox Puppet

“Childrens do learn” and more Bushisms…

Friday, September 28th, 2007

http://www.reuters.com/article/domesticNews/idUSN2623880720070926

“Childrens do learn,” Bush tells school kids

NEW YORK (Reuters) – Offering a grammar lesson guaranteed to make any English teacher cringe, President George W. Bush told a group of New York school kids on Wednesday: “Childrens do learn.”

During his first presidential campaign, Bush — who promised to be the “education president” — once asked: “Is our children learning?”

On Wednesday, Bush seemed to answer his own question with the same kind of grammatical twist.

“As yesterday’s positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured,” he said.

The White House opted to clean up Bush’s diction in the official transcript.

http://uk.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUKN2540350420070926

“NEW YORK (Reuters) – How do you keep a leader as verbally gaffe-prone as U.S. President George W. Bush from making even more slips of the tongue?
When Bush addressed the U.N. General Assembly on Tuesday, the White House inadvertently showed exactly how — with a phonetic pronunciation guide on the teleprompter to get him past troublesome names of countries and world leaders.”

Tripod

Sunday, August 19th, 2007

Have a listen to Tripod from BBC7’s McCauly and Co from the Edinburgh Fringe – very funny
Give it a minute or two – you’ll see where they’re going!

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Class Wars Chav Hunting video

Tuesday, August 14th, 2007

Chav Hunting

Here’s the video that’s been all over the news ( BBC Times Telegraph ITN etc

More Chav nonsense at Chavscum. Don’t forget to join Legalize Chav Hunting on Facebook

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