Bahamas 2001
Holiday time came around once again, and although the Ibiza deals for betweem £69 and £99 were financially tempting, we wanted just a little bit more from a holiday.
So, 2 days before our holiday was due to start, we began looking. Nothing very exciting was happening at first, and then a “Discover Egypt” cruise and hotel package caught our eye on lastminute.com. £439 for 3 nights hotel and 4 nights cruise down the Nile, the cruise part of which was fully inclusive. It was ridiculously cheap, but then we started asking people’s advice, which was that Egypt is an amazing place, but to be a non-Muslim in a Muslim country when war breaks out would be a little silly.
So, we kept looking, and I suddenly remembered http://www.expedia.co.uk/ . About 5 minutes into our search, we saw 7 nights in the Bahamas (room only basis) for £239. I was on the phone in a flash, and after asking whether there where any catches, we’d booked our holiday with JMC.
3 days later, on the Tuesday, we woke at 2am, and drove to Gatwick. After a short pause on the runway, then return to the apron for a new weather radar to be fitted. 90 minutes late, we were in the air. And what a crappy flight it was. Notwithstanding the fact that they were showing “Shrek” as one of the inflight movies, which can always bear another viewing or seven.
Here’s a warning if you fly with JMC - they are cheap. I don’t mean cheap as in, economical, I mean cheap as in cheap and nasty. They charge a pound for those cans of mini-cola. Basically, a couple of cans of coke and a couple of bags of peanuts will set you back £6. We held off until lunch, whereupon we bought two tiny plastic bottles of cheap wine (the only wine) which, if multiplied up, would have made the full bottle of plonk cost about £40. This was after they’d been round about 17 times with the duty free trolley selling cheap but overpriced tack, and trying to persuade us to buy the scratchcards. Yes, JMC flights are about the naffest there are, and I’ve flown 28 times with 6 different carriers, and even on the shortest of flights I’ve never been charged for soft drinks. Something we immediately noticed was the amount of “dodgy geezers” on the plane; lots of shellshuits, heavy gold chains, Essex accents and “trash with cash”.

And so it was that, approximately 4,200 miles, 10 hours, and 2cm of legroom later, our plane bumped it’s way onto the runway of the rudimentary airport. The plane was then to go on a quick 25 minute hop over to Nassau, and it seemed like the trash with cash were the ones staying on the plane. We were taken by a small fleet of taxis, all of which looked like pimp-mobiles from the 70’s, to our various hotels, of which ours was in Freeport. And I don’t think we did badly at all as far as the hotels went.

We checked into the Port Lucaya Resort and Yacht club, right by the Port Lucaya Market and, er, port. The room was clean and cool, with a pool view to the front, and the harbour to the back. I have absolutely no complaints about the hotel room; it was superb considering it was a 3-sun rating. We got clean towels and sheets and the room was cleaned daily, and the air conditioning and TV worked fine. It’s a room after all…what more do you want?!?

The first thing we thought we’d do was to check the famous beaches out. There are just miles and miles of beautiful beaches, many of them uninhabited. Most have the softest white sand, fringed with palm trees, and completely clear and warm water. The sun was hot hot hot, so we took the precaution of liberally slapping the sunscreen on, especially as it was the first day. Except I had not taken account of the fact that I had just had my hair shaved unusually short, meaning I got badly sunburned on the old bonce, hence the hat which appears in many of the pictures.We explored the local general store, The Oasis, and immediately decided that if we were to buy stuff from there, we’d end up broke in about 2 days, and so it was at the Winn Dixie supermarket that any purchase was made. This was reached by a short bus ride; the buses are fun - they are little mini-vans about the size of VW Camper vans, and about 12 people can squash into each one. They are fast, regular, and, at $1 for any length of journey along the route, very cheap.The first night, at the recommendation of the JMC rep, we ate at The Pub at Port Lucaya, (formerly the less attractively named “Pussers”). I wouldn’t say that it was expensive, but it was a little dissapointing - the shark strips were rather flavourless tiny strips of shark in an enourmous amount of batter…not worth $6. We had a couple of cocktails called “Painkillers” which did the trick nicely, and we were soon earning a well-deserved sleep.

The next day, we lounged around, generally chilled out, and wandered around exploring the eating possibilities for that night, and then went to look around the amazing Our Lucaya hotel resort complex. This place is outstanding - complete and utter luxury. It’s also about $300 a room per night, or £2000 for a two week holiday.

On the way back, a big black woman was sitting in a chair, and in a very strong Jamaican accent she called out “Hey guuuurlfrien’!”. Tracy looked over towards here. “Waan bray?”, she said. We knew what she meant, of course…did Tracy want her ‘air braided. Braids just don’t look good on white girls, and as the other national product (apart from braiding) seemed to be printed t-shirts, we were going to get a t-shirt printed that said ‘no braids, thanks!”.She then went on to offer us a look round a timeshare in return for various free things, but we declined. We were still a bit tired from the flight and I wouldn’t have had the energy to argue with a no-doubt very experienced and pushy salesman. It became apparent that the harrasment usually only happens on the days when the cruise ships are in port, and apart from being offered braids 56 times a day, every day, we were left alone.

On Friday, we went on a glass bottomed boat. I thought I was booking for the semi-submarine, which is a boat with a glass compartment below, but it was my mistake, and we literally got a boat with glass panels on the bottom. It wasn’t a real dissapointment, though, and we got some excellent views of the coral reef, and a diver went down and enticed some exceedingly large fish our way. It was a large boat, and there were only 8 people on the boat. It was such a shame - the crew still gave 100%, but it can have hardly paid for the fuel. Many times we noticed just how quiet it was - the attacks on America had certainly taken their toll on tourists. October is not a busy month, although the peak is December, when lots of rich Americans from the cold northern states descend onto the Bahamas, at which time room rates double. The other time to avoid is “spring break” when hoards of American college nightmares descent onto the island to become as drunk as possible.

Friday night was Booze Cruise night. The basic plan is that you go out onto the ocean, watch the sunset, eat food from a splendid hot buffet, then get blind drunk and dance. Being a free bar “all night”, it stopped at 9pm, when the boat headed back for shore, but not before I’d drunk a “holy sheet”; a viciously strong rum cocktail. Apparently, I danced, managed to walk off the boat, and make it back to the hotel room. And then awake at 1am and liberally coat the hotel room in vomit, while attempting to crack my own skull on the floor. I was annoyed with myself the next morning, though, because Saturday’s trip was the big one…

Cayaking

We were picked up in a minibus by Lynn from Kayak Nature Tours, and headed out towards the National Park. Along the way, we learnt some history and interesting little facts about the Bahamas - for example, I was surprised to learn that the islands count as a third world country. We saw the Lucayun Waterway, a manmade navigation which disects the island, but was built with the intention of development along its banks. Grand Bahama has a desire to attract the wealthy to setup a second home, and I only hope that the development is controlled. As it is now, it is just right, but much more would spoil it.
We finally arrived at our destination, and after a brief training session in how not to capsise a kayak, we joined the other 10 in our group in pushing off from the shore on the mouth of the inlet, and paddling inland.

The tranquility is just unbelievable. After the splashing of the less skilled had stopped, all we could hear was the buzzing of the bahamian singers in the trees and the gentle splash as the paddles cut into the clear blue water. We’d been told what to look for, and nature did not let us down. Eels and brightly coloured tropical fish cut through the water, which, although 5 feet deep, was perfectly clear. This was one of the best feelings in my life; the smells, the sounds….everything came together. It was utterly perfect.

We cayaked for 2 miles. The heat was starting to get to us, and it was rather humid, but it wasn’t depressingly humid, although it’s not uncommon to see windows running with condensation on the outside, rather than on the inside like we get here in chilly old Britain. We docked the boats, and took a short walk to the most amazing deserted beach. There was a small picnic site there, and our picnic lunch (provided by the tour company) was laid out for us, and most welcome it was too. Delicious jerk chicken, salads, macaroni cheese and banana cake were consumed enthusiastically, and then we had just over an hour to swim and explore the beach. We were then taken on a 1 mile nature walk, stopping regularly to be shown interesting things. It was amazing to see how plants desalinate the water as it passes from on ecosystem to another, and also how those plants deal with it. Some of the mangrove trees use salt glands, but some of the bushed “sweat” it out of their leaves, and the result is leaves covered in pure salt crystals. At one point, our guide, who was wearing sandles, was approached by a lizard who decided that not only did he enjoy being the centre of attention, but that he rather enjoyed attempting to consume her toes, although small nips were all he could muster, and we left with all or our guides ten toes intact.

The Bahamas are formed from a sort of honeycomb of volcanic rock, and therefore there are many caves, some underwater, some just below ground, and we were shown a couple of these. Diving in the caves is strictly controlled, but, were you small and thin enough, you could possibly swim from cave to interlinked cave under the island. The water in the caves is fresh to a certain point, and then it becomes saline.

We finished the tour some 7 hours later - most definitely the high-point of the holiday. That evening, we went looking round town for a better spot to eat. Having had a rather busy day, the attraction of many courses of chinese meal for $8.50 at the “China Cafe” were not to be left in-noticed. We did this for two nights running (mainly out of laziness) but towards the end of the week, we discovered an oasis of gastronomic and economic delight - Zorbas greek restaurant. By far the best of the town centre cafés, Zorbas do huge plates of delicious greek and worldwide specialities. Hey, this sounds like and advert. Look, I just liked what I saw, and ate!

There are other, classier restaurants out of town - one which is “The Stoned Crab”. Comes highly recommended, but don’t expect to leave with a bill of less than $100 for two, so we gave it a miss. Breakfasts were another matter altogether. With no breakfast, we didn’t really have the energy for anything. With a full breakfast, we were left feeling heavy and tired. The perfect solution was the “Dunkin’ Donuts” just round the corner. For $2.49 each we got two donuts and a really nice cup of coffee (or tea) and we’d take this and go and sit on the harbour outside the back door of our hotel and watch the sunrise. Bliss! And a good sugar hit for the day ahead too.
Well, there really isn’t a lot more to say. What you want to know is: how can I do it cheaply too, and how much did it cost you?

OK, we took £100 in cash, and also withdrew £120 over there. We spent a total of £217 each, including food and snorkelling etc. Added to the £249 trip cost, that’s £466. Take-away the fact that, for me, driving to work costs me £45 in petrol, and I probably spend £55 a week eating and drinking and going out, and…oooh look! A week in the Bahamas for £366! Amazing! Click here for all the photos.

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So, there you have it. Here are some links for you:http://www.portlucaya.com/Most of the info was got from WHSmith Books Online
Here is another good guide from Yahoo!

Tags: bahamas,travelogue
Categories: travelogue
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