Here's my review of one very cold day in Eurodisney:
My friend Tracy (always omnipresent on trips to weird places) had spotted that by travelling to Eurodisney when it was freezing cold, one could get there, in, and back for the same price as the entrance in peak time. Well, nearly. £30 was close enough.
I was a bit apprehensive, as I felt I'd "done" theme parks by my stage of life. Besides, I was skint and was also recovering from two spells of about 48 hours with no sleep. Nonetheless, we boarded a coach full of Welsh people at 11pm, and headed down Dover way.
The rest of the journey was as any long coach journey would be for someone 6'2.5", so I'll not dwell on that.
As we neared Eurodisney, the sun started to rise above the agricultural landscape, illuminating as it did fields of heavily frosted earth, and bringing with it an intensely blue cloudless sky. It looked cold, and by golly it was cold! We stopped in a service area just outside, and as the driver topped up the coach with water, he spilled some on the ground. It immediately froze.
We finally pulled into the car park - a huge boundless expanse of neat empty rows, and got off the coach, leaving behind what was the be the last temperature this side of "plus" for the next 10 hours. We stepped onto the long travelator towards the park, and briefly investigated the enormous free-to-enter food park opposite. About 30 restaurants, from "Planet Hollywood" to themed diners, and one place offering a buffet style breakfast with the characters. A bargain at about £16. Not.
On entering the park, my cynicism started to melt away as my toes froze. The whole thing looked rather good, and the cup of hot chocolate consumed (the first of many) while I waited for the rides to start at 10am was only FF7, and the other snacky stuff was not a rip-off compared to other lesser theme parks.
10am arrived, and the small cloud of breath vapour made it's way towards "Space Mountain". This was supposed to be the ride at Eurodisney. We queued for a very short time, the most annoying thing being video screens that told you, in a 30 second loop that those people who suffer conditions such as being dead, women in labour, (and anyone else about to sue Disney because they had suffered an injury as a result of being too moronic to work out that they shouldn't go on a roller coaster) were told that they shouldn't go on the roller coaster. We got in, and the stereo speakers in the headrest started to play mood-building music as we rolled away from the station. We arrived at the launch section, stopped, climbed a little further, and stopped at what was the launch position, at which point the music looped the last two bars of crescendo for about a minute, then played the final bar, and stopped. And then whoosh, we were shot up the ramp and into the dark, spiralling twisting and turning for what should have been 30 seconds, but was more like 2 minutes due to two more sections where we were held for some reason. We decided to go back on later as we were one of the first cars round, and to it's credit the timing had been sorted out, and we whizzed round in one go (the front or back seats are definitely worth investigated for maximum whiplash!). However, this was not the super thrill packed action adventure type thingy I was lead to believe, and as for the launch of the rocket, it was slightly a damp squib. The "Thunder Looper" at Alton Towers has much more initial G-force, but then that is helped by gravity and a massive weight attached to the launching cable (and I hear Monica Lewinsky is getting well paid for it too).
During the day, we investigated two of the many shows and parades, the first being "Mulan" in the Videodrome, a well laid out huge eatery where you can buy reasonably priced fast food and watch the show. It was really good too. Apparently, Mulan doesn't officially open until 28th Oct, so I guess we saw a dress rehearsal, which was perfect anyway. We then checked out the lesser attractions, and although the park was smaller than I imagined, it was very well co-ordinated and built. The quality of desing/layout/construction was excellent, and all the staff seemed happy and helpful and seemed to be enjoying it, despite what I've heard. (Although they probably go home and shoot up/snort a line in the evening.)
The other show we saw was some Christmas thing with all the characters in, and was exactly like I expected with nauseous amounts of smiling and "Merry Christmas Everyone" in multiple languages. That's the point....the whole thing was just like I expected it to be. Intricately manufactured and packaged, but executed brilliantly. Same with the parades. I'd never seem a theme park parade before, but the 3pm parade was...well, big and how it should have been. Whether it was good or not depended on whether or not you are three years old and sitting on top of someone's shoulder as Snow White waves at you.
Star Tours was our next stop, and we chose one of the six "space cruisers" to go in. It's just a motion simulation ride with a Star Wars theme, but I think each of the simulators is a different adventure. Not sure though, and not being big Star Wars fans, we didn't queue again to find out. We also investigated the Indiana Jones ride (a definite "must") and a 360 degree trip through time (true 360 degrees, not like projecting it onto a round roof like they do in some places.)
By 4pm, it was getting colder. During the morning the frostiness has been fun, with everything twinkling with ice crystals, cute children dressed like Cartman* from South Park, and great clouds of steam from each breathe. But now it was a case of Hypothermia. I knocked back two more coffees and enquired from a member of staff what the temperature was. It turned out it had been between -1 and -3 all day. Brrrrrrrrrr! We hung around some shops, and here's where the marketing really started to grate. There were streets of about 20 buildings, each one containing the same things, but in a different scenario. And while they'd done a great job of ensuring that "Main Street USA" was meticulously detailed at the turn of this century, they also done a great job of ensuring that the merchandise was priced firmly into the next century.
The last thing on our agenda was the 6pm "Tree Lighting" parade. This was it, the big parade. Crowds thronged the street, and Santa and an entourage of floats made their way slowly towards the giant Christmas tree. After wishing us another Merry Christmas in French, German and American, he chose a child to switch on the lights. The chosen one obliged, and threw towards the tree a handful of fairy dust, which was a most excellent and convincing effect. At which point the lights on the tree started to glow from the base up (in time with the music of course) and when they reached to top, one by one the the cast iron arches over the street lit up each decorated with thousand thousands of lights, arch by arch. When all were lit, the lights slowly dimmed and changed colours, and in the distance, rockets launched, leaving behind them trails of twinkling stars. I have to say that we were captivated. Yes, even me with my theme park cynicism. It must have been truly enthralling for a small child.
That was that, and we boarded the coach, arriving back home a 3:30am having been dropped off at Reading where the car was. We were shattered, but warmer! (I discovered that Paris was so cold that homeless people had been dying, and it was an exceptionally cold front across that part of Europe).
I had hoped to scan in some photos, but I haven't got my scanner, and they were also taken with a cheap camera, and very disappointing. But have a look at http://www.disneylandparis.com for some better ones!
*NOTE:As South Park is not funny at all, I don't watch it. But I mean the one who wears the jacket which covers his face. Probably not Cartman, but him and Kenny are the only two I know. And, Oh my God, didn't they kill Kenny?